M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
is it fun? or sober?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
