Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
