I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
How's work?
Spinning.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
