please come you make the beer taste better
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
