5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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