A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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