I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
