So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
