Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
