Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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