the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
