best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
