i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
