You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
