last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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