I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
