Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
