ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
