coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
