Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
