Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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