Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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