areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
