Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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