I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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