I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
