Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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