I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just invented taco cereal.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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