I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
