Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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