so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
