He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
