I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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