I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
