I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
