just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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