So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
