We're like a lot better than the average bears
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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