so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
