Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
