I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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