Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
