like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
