Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
