Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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