Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
