Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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