He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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