um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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