im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
