So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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