I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
