I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
