1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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