Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Oh god it's open bar.
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