Dual....:-)
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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