He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
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