this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
it glows. i had to have it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
