If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
