what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
