meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
