i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
